How To Flirt Even Though You Are Shy
A guy and a girl flirting at Bryant Park, Manhattan
It does not matter if you are a girl or a guy if you are shy flirting is very difficult. Well it seems difficult. It doesn’t need to be. In fact with a little practice you will find that flirting can be a lot of fun. Remember just like most things, in flirting there is no one rule that fits all. In fact it is best to be flexible to the situation. Flirting is as much observation as it is action. So observe how the person you are flirting with is reacting to you.
There are two kinds of flirting. The first is lighthearted fun. It is harmless and enjoyable by both parties and it usually doesn’t have any sort of love interest involved: it is a way of making a friend. The second kind of flirting is flirting with intent, the intent of showing them that you are interested in them romantically.
With the second kind of flirting you’re going to want to make it clear that you are interested in them. You can do this verbally and nonverbally. Everyone loves a compliment and if you’re interested in this person I’m sure that there a lot of things that you could complement them on. Don’t make it sappy because that becomes annoying. Just smile at them and complement their item of clothing, the talent that they may have or some other thing that you find endearing about them.
Nonverbal flirting can be very powerful. Let us look at some ways that you can flirt nonverbally with someone.
First let’s talk about eye contact. The great thing about eye contact is that you can use it to flirt from across the room. This comes in very handy. If you like someone and would like to flirt with them and have made eye contact, try to hold that eye contact for a second. A shy person rarely looks at others straight in the eye. If you’re shy it can be very difficult for you to get into the habit of making eye contact with the person that you are interested in. Only hold the eye contact for about a second, if you hold it longer than that they may think that you are a stalker. That is not the message you would like to send.
Touch is another great nonverbal form of flirting. Holding hands is seen as very romantic in most of the countries in the world. Even brushing your hand against their’s is a great way to induce flirting. If you are in a conversation with someone that you are romantically interested in and would like to initiate some flirting, put your hand on their’s or touch their hand or knee while talking. They will soon get the hint that you are interested.
Getting close up to that person is another great way of flirting. Being close to your romantic interest and whispering in their ear, leaning into each other at a movie or some other way of being physically close is a very exciting way of flirting.
These are progressive ways of flirting. You don’t just want to start with touch. If you are shy you definitely want to work on eye contact and then work your way up to the other forms of flirting. Start slowly and if you get a signal that the other person is not interested don’t continue on the path that you are traveling. You may need to back down or stop flirting all together.
Practice makes perfect so get out there and practice your flirting.
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Olivia Braff was born and raised in the Detroit area. At the age of 24 she moved to New York where she currently lives working as a photographer assistant.
Olivia would never leave New York because there's just no other place like New York.Comments
I have always been a shy guy, and still I am a bit
years back I forced myself to flirt with random girls, starting from those that were less attractive ( I felt much more confident than with ‘playboyesque’ girls )
I remember I started with the eye contact thing and it worked out pretty well ( at least for my self-confidence )
making eye contact several times before starting to talk to a girl makes it a lot easier
eye contact with someone across the room is a great way to understand if there’s some interest in you from the man/woman you like
no doubt it makes things easier if you’re going to move up to him/her and start talking: it’s easier if he has already noticed you
I think touch isn’t appropriate if you want to let her know you’re interested, assuming that there hasn’t been any other occasion to show it
realizing that you are not just talking but you might actually be interested in her might have a negative effect if you start with touch, even if just her hand at a table or something like this
you need an appropriate situation to introduce touch, and there must be something between just simple eye contact and touch or getting close…
entertaining a nice chat can be hard or easy, and in my experience it just depends on the person you have in fron of you and on what’s her intention with you
I may be wrong anyway..
not always it’s that easy to flirt with someone
sometimes the person you’re interested into doesn’t even think about flirting with you in a bar or such places
maybe he likes you but if he isn’t in flirting mode all your “work” is pointless…
unless you have some secret weapon to turn his interest on without looking like a bitch
I get really embarrassed when a pretty girl catches me admiring her. My eyes will usually dart immediately somewhere else, or worse, aimlessly into the sky, in a silly attempt to pretend I was not looking at her. I try to tell myself to maintain eye contact for a second, but I always get really nervous and shy away. It’s a really nice feeling, though, when you catch an attractive person looking your way and imagine that they might have been checking you out. Or at least that’s what I’ve heard. It has never happened to me before. One day…
“Only hold the eye contact for about a second, if you hold it longer than that they may think that you are a stalker.”
Are you serious! If you only hold eye contact for a second it doesn’t mean a thing. Listen guys DO NOT be the first to break eye contact! This is a huge mistake unless you want it to do nothing. By looking away quickly you are telling women I am a scared, unconfident boy. Even if she isn’t interested you at least know wither or not she is. I have never had a problem with this method.
After the girl looks away you can then look away.
“you will find that flirting can be a lot of fun”
absolutely true
flirting with someone gives you strong emotions that sometimes you really need